Last night I was talking to one of my bestest childhood friends. We're more than friends and I thank God so much for her. We talked for over 2 hours, reminiscing, talking about our kids and just encouraging each other.
So many things was said but one thing stayed with me ...and I didn't even realize how much it affected me. She told me her daughter was about to start high school and it's so tough. She home schooled her and now she is releasing her. It brought sadness to me cause I know what a great mom she is and how much of her life she has invested in her kids. But she is secure in the fact that God can take care of her better than she can. So she is willing to let go.
As the kids were in bed and vaughn and I were talking, I suddenly got this picture in my mind of Arie and Caiden getting married (of course to different people). I didn't see the people but it brought tears to my eyes. And as i focused on the picture, I was telling Arie to make sure her dad sings Butterfly kisses at the wedding. She turned to me and said oh mom dad's just going to cry and embarrass me. Sure enough as the day dreaming went on....vaughn couldn't even finish the song.
I found myself lying in bed beside myself in tears. I so want the best for Arielle. She was born to us when we thought we had lost everything that was good in life. We had, just 7 months before her conception, held 2 dead baby girls in our arms and didn't think it was possible to have anymore or want to for that matter. The joy that filled our family when she was born was unmeasurable and I don't think I can do it justice in mere words
She gets me so mad though....(I kept saying to vaughn). Sometimes the decisions she makes really concerns me. Simple things I expect her to know. I just wished she would take our word for it instead of having to experience it herself. And she always knows. Then there are times when she says some deep things.....that baffles and encourage us.
LIke when Jordan passed away, she prayed (until caiden was born) for another baby brother. Then she asked God to send her a sister instead. I see her vunerabilities and her strengths and I long so much to protect her from every thing possible. I saw how Jordan's death affected her....but all we could do was counsel and pray. She is such a loving child and I love her so much.
Sometimes I wish I could tell her everything but her years and maturity wont permit me. I long to tell her about my experiences and I pray one day God will grant me this. I try as best as possible to warn her about things and the evil that exist. But i know being to detailed will make her afraid. We watched Karate Kid recently and to my surprise.....arie cried until the boy got better. I mean she wailed in the cinema and was so concerned about the boy being bullied and beaten up. I noted to myself that this child is very concerned about the well being of others and it touched me. Even though admittedly I was a little embarrassed as to how loudly she was crying.
Some how with Caiden, I'm not so concerned about him when he grows up. Each child is different. And at an early age you can usually tell their personalities. He's very confident and very sure of what he wants. But with arie, I always feel as if I have to be there ....just in case.
I finally got her to start kissing and hugging me again. She never likes much public affection but I told her that I missed my baby girl. She said she'll never not kiss and hug us again cause she didn't want to hurt our feelings. So every night at prayer we get to embrace our little girl again. Thank God for pray time and those Butterfly kisses.
Arie at 2 1/2 years old.
So many things was said but one thing stayed with me ...and I didn't even realize how much it affected me. She told me her daughter was about to start high school and it's so tough. She home schooled her and now she is releasing her. It brought sadness to me cause I know what a great mom she is and how much of her life she has invested in her kids. But she is secure in the fact that God can take care of her better than she can. So she is willing to let go.
As the kids were in bed and vaughn and I were talking, I suddenly got this picture in my mind of Arie and Caiden getting married (of course to different people). I didn't see the people but it brought tears to my eyes. And as i focused on the picture, I was telling Arie to make sure her dad sings Butterfly kisses at the wedding. She turned to me and said oh mom dad's just going to cry and embarrass me. Sure enough as the day dreaming went on....vaughn couldn't even finish the song.
I found myself lying in bed beside myself in tears. I so want the best for Arielle. She was born to us when we thought we had lost everything that was good in life. We had, just 7 months before her conception, held 2 dead baby girls in our arms and didn't think it was possible to have anymore or want to for that matter. The joy that filled our family when she was born was unmeasurable and I don't think I can do it justice in mere words
She gets me so mad though....(I kept saying to vaughn). Sometimes the decisions she makes really concerns me. Simple things I expect her to know. I just wished she would take our word for it instead of having to experience it herself. And she always knows. Then there are times when she says some deep things.....that baffles and encourage us.
LIke when Jordan passed away, she prayed (until caiden was born) for another baby brother. Then she asked God to send her a sister instead. I see her vunerabilities and her strengths and I long so much to protect her from every thing possible. I saw how Jordan's death affected her....but all we could do was counsel and pray. She is such a loving child and I love her so much.
Sometimes I wish I could tell her everything but her years and maturity wont permit me. I long to tell her about my experiences and I pray one day God will grant me this. I try as best as possible to warn her about things and the evil that exist. But i know being to detailed will make her afraid. We watched Karate Kid recently and to my surprise.....arie cried until the boy got better. I mean she wailed in the cinema and was so concerned about the boy being bullied and beaten up. I noted to myself that this child is very concerned about the well being of others and it touched me. Even though admittedly I was a little embarrassed as to how loudly she was crying.
Some how with Caiden, I'm not so concerned about him when he grows up. Each child is different. And at an early age you can usually tell their personalities. He's very confident and very sure of what he wants. But with arie, I always feel as if I have to be there ....just in case.
I finally got her to start kissing and hugging me again. She never likes much public affection but I told her that I missed my baby girl. She said she'll never not kiss and hug us again cause she didn't want to hurt our feelings. So every night at prayer we get to embrace our little girl again. Thank God for pray time and those Butterfly kisses.
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| My beautiful daughter Arielle Gabrianna Crichlow |
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